Simulated Gameday Experience

So I would love for this blog to go live on a better week of games; unfortunately, this week’s games all blow.  I’m having a hard time getting excited for a slate where the best games are going to be predominantly defensive struggles and the only exciting teams are apparently all having Homecoming this weekend.

The top games this weekend are, what?  LSU on the road in Tuscaloosa against the Crimson Tide; Ohio State rolls into Happy Valley to take on the Nittany Lions; Oklahoma’s on the road against Nebraska.  That’s a relatively lackluster slate to begin with, but from a viewer’s perspective, how many good offenses are there?  Alabama likely has a better offense than LSU – they definitely do if Julio Jones can finally establish himself – but aside from Mark Ingram, there’s no guarantees from either offense.  Penn State and Ohio State have athletes (er, “athletes”), but Jim Tressel would find a way to stifle Vince Young and Penn State’s cupcaked their way to 8-1, losing their only game against a quality team to the tune of 21-10.  (And yes, it hurts to call Iowa quality.  Welcome to 2009.)  I’m not sure I know the first thing about Penn State at this point in the season.  Oklahoma may or may not have an offense – signs point to “generally not”, at least against teams with a pulse – and Nebraska’s risen back to prominence on backs of their defense.

Of these teams, Penn State’s the only team in the top 25 of total offense – and the only teams with winning records they’ve beaten all season have been Minnesota (5-4), Northwestern (5-4), and Temple (7-2, but Temple).  Oklahoma checks in at 30 – built on blasting Tulsa, Idaho State, and Baylor – and Alabama’s at 33.  I’m all for defense as much as the next guy; heck, I may be more for that as I’ve been trying to learn more about defensive schemes, what they’re designed to attack, and how they’re designed to be effective against other attacks.  However, frequently quality defense leads to punting and field position battles and I’m not enough of a purist to appreciate that.  There’s also the unfortunate side effect of good defenses – offenses looking like shit and making dumb plays.  We already saw Ohio State-Penn State break on a bad snap last year; do we want to be subjected to the same mess again?

Of course, I’m going to watch all these games because that’s what I do.  I enjoy pain.  However, I think I’m looking forward to massacres instead.  I want blood, pain, 63-0 games at the half, bringing in random guys who played high school football at a 300-person Catholic high school in Wyoming three years ago to run for 150 yards, going into prevent with the punter playing free safety massacres.  Bring on the homecoming games, and let’s hope to god Houston-Tulsa turns into a full-blown mortar bombing.

Tags: even though this sucks it's better than lacrosse, make it stop